One-on-ones are the heartbeat of good technical leadership. A weekly 30-minute conversation can unblock a developer, prevent burnout, surface hidden problems, and build trust that holds a team together under pressure.
But for Vietnamese tech leads working in international environments, running a 1-on-1 in English feels different from a code review or a standup. It is personal. It requires listening closely, asking the right questions, and knowing how to deliver honest feedback in a way that the other person can actually receive.
This guide gives you the structure, phrases, and vocabulary to run 1-on-1s that your team will look forward to — not dread.
The 3-Part Structure That Works Every Time
Senior managers in international companies typically follow a simple structure:
Part 1 — Check in (5 minutes) Start with the person, not the work. How are they doing as a human being?
Part 2 — Their agenda first (15–20 minutes) Ask what’s on their mind. What are they working on? What is blocking them? What do they need from you?
Part 3 — Your feedback and alignment (5–10 minutes) Share any observations, feedback, or context they need from you. Align on next steps.
This order matters. When you lead with your own agenda, the engineer feels evaluated. When you ask about their world first, they feel heard — and they become far more open to your feedback.
🗣️ Key Phrases to Say Out Loud
Practice these until they feel natural. The key is a warm, unhurried tone — not fast or businesslike.
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“How’s everything going — both with work and outside of it?” /haʊz ˈevriθɪŋ ˈɡoʊɪŋ — boʊθ wɪð wɜːrk ænd ˈaʊtsaɪd əv ɪt/
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“What’s been on your mind lately?” /wɒts biːn ɒn jɔːr maɪnd ˈleɪtli/
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“What’s blocking you right now — anything I can help remove?” /wɒts ˈblɒkɪŋ juː raɪt naʊ — ˈeniθɪŋ aɪ kæn help rɪˈmuːv/
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“I want to share some feedback — and I want to make sure it lands the right way.” /aɪ wɒnt tə ʃeər sʌm ˈfiːdbæk — ænd aɪ wɒnt tə meɪk ʃʊr ɪt lændz ðə raɪt weɪ/
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“How are you feeling about your growth here — are you learning enough?” /haʊ ɑːr juː ˈfiːlɪŋ əˈbaʊt jɔːr ɡroʊθ hɪər/
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“Is there anything I’m doing — or not doing — that makes your job harder?” /ɪz ðeər ˈeniθɪŋ aɪm ˈduːɪŋ — ɔːr nɒt ˈduːɪŋ — ðæt meɪks jɔːr dʒɒb ˈhɑːrdər/
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“What would make next week better than this week?” /wɒt wʊd meɪk nekst wiːk ˈbetər ðæn ðɪs wiːk/
📚 Vocabulary
1. Check in /tʃek ɪn/ To ask briefly how someone is doing, especially emotionally or mentally. “Let me check in with you before we dive into the work stuff.”
2. Blocker /ˈblɒkər/ Something preventing progress — can be technical or interpersonal. “Are there any blockers I should know about? I want to clear the path for you.”
3. Growth /ɡroʊθ/ Professional development — learning new skills, taking on more responsibility. “I want to make sure you’re getting real growth from this project, not just busy work.”
4. Bandwidth /ˈbændwɪdθ/ Capacity to take on more work. “Do you have the bandwidth to take on the API refactor, or is your plate full?”
5. Alignment /əˈlaɪnmənt/ When two people have the same understanding or direction. “I want to make sure we’re in alignment about the priority for Q2.”
6. Pushback /ˈpʊʃbæk/ Resistance or disagreement, usually expressed clearly. “I got some pushback from the team on the deadline — I want to share that with you.”
7. Follow up /ˈfɒloʊ ʌp/ To check on something after a previous conversation. “I’ll follow up on that promotion conversation after the performance review cycle.”
How to Give Difficult Feedback in 1-on-1s
Giving hard feedback in English requires a clear formula. Use this pattern:
Observation → Impact → Question
Instead of: “You’ve been missing deadlines.”
Try: “I’ve noticed the last two features came in later than planned [observation]. That made it hard for the QA team to finish their cycle on time [impact]. I want to understand what’s happening from your side — is there something I’m not seeing? [question]”
This approach:
- States facts, not judgments
- Explains why it matters to the team
- Invites the other person to share their perspective
Even when the feedback is serious, ending with a genuine question shows you trust the person and are looking for a solution together.
🎯 Practice Now
Script: A Full 5-Minute 1-on-1 Opening
Read this out loud as if you are starting a real meeting:
“Hey, thanks for jumping on. How’s your week been — anything outside of work going on I should know about? [pause] Good to hear. Alright, what’s been on your radar this week? What are you spending most of your time on? [pause] Got it. Is there anything that’s slowing you down or that you need from me to move faster? [pause] Okay, let me make a note of that. I’ll try to get you unblocked on that today. Before we go, I had one thing I wanted to share with you…”
Practice this three times. Notice how the pauses feel natural — you are genuinely waiting for the answer, not rushing to your next line.
Dialogue: Handling a Sensitive Conversation
Tech Lead: “I wanted to check in with you today — just between us. I’ve noticed you seem a bit quieter in standups lately. Is everything okay?”
Developer: “Honestly… I’ve been feeling a bit stuck. I’m not sure my work is making a real impact.”
Tech Lead: “I’m really glad you told me that. Can you say more? What does ‘making an impact’ look like to you?”
Developer: “I guess I want to work on something that users actually care about. The internal tooling feels… invisible.”
Tech Lead: “That makes complete sense. I hear you. Let’s talk about how we can shift your focus in the next sprint — I think there’s room for that. And I want you to know I see the quality of what you’re doing, even if the project itself isn’t glamorous right now.”
Read through this dialogue aloud. The tech lead’s job here is 80% listening and 20% talking. Notice they never dismiss the concern — they validate, then solve.
The Most Important 1-on-1 Habit
Write down one thing from every 1-on-1. A blocker you agreed to remove. A concern someone raised. A piece of feedback you gave.
Then start your next 1-on-1 by referencing it:
“Last week you mentioned you were frustrated with the deployment process. I had a chance to look into it — here’s what I found…”
That one habit — following through on what was said — builds more trust than any phrase in this guide.
This post is part of the Tech Lead English series — practical English for Vietnamese engineers working in international teams.