Running 1-on-1 meetings is one of the most important skills for any tech lead. But when you are doing it in English — especially if English is not your first language — it can feel awkward. You might freeze up, use the wrong tone, or struggle to give honest feedback without sounding too harsh or too soft.
This guide gives you practical phrases, real dialogue examples, and common mistakes Vietnamese speakers make when running 1-on-1s in English.
What Is a 1-on-1 Meeting?
A 1-on-1 (one-on-one) is a regular private meeting between a manager or tech lead and one team member. Usually 30–60 minutes, weekly or bi-weekly. The goal is not a status update — it is about the person: their progress, blockers, growth, and wellbeing.
Opening the Meeting
Do not jump straight into work topics. Start with a light check-in. This builds trust and signals that you care about them as a person, not just as a resource.
Key Phrases:
- “How are you doing this week — any highlights or rough patches?”
- “Before we dive in, how’s your energy level lately?”
- “Is there anything on your mind you’d like to talk about first?”
- “How did last week feel for you overall?”
Avoid the robotic opener: “So, what’s your update?” — it kills the mood immediately.
Discussing Blockers and Support
This is where you add real value as a tech lead. Your job is to unblock, not to micromanage.
Key Phrases:
- “What’s slowing you down the most right now?”
- “Is there anything I can do to help clear the way for you?”
- “Are you waiting on anything from me or anyone else?”
- “What would make this easier for you?”
- “Do you feel like you have what you need to move forward?”
Example Dialogue:
You: “What’s been the biggest blocker for you this week?”
Team member: “I’ve been stuck waiting for the API spec from the backend team.”
You: “Got it. I’ll follow up with Minh today to get that unblocked. Is there anything else you can work on in parallel while we wait?”
Team member: “I can work on the UI components in the meantime.”
You: “Perfect. Let’s keep that as a backup plan.”
Giving Feedback — Positive and Constructive
Giving feedback in English requires calibration. Too direct sounds harsh. Too vague sounds meaningless. Vietnamese speakers often go too far in one direction.
For Positive Feedback:
- “I really appreciated how you handled the production incident last Tuesday.”
- “The way you documented that PR was excellent — it made code review so much faster.”
- “I’ve noticed you’ve been proactive about communicating blockers. That’s exactly what the team needs.”
For Constructive Feedback:
Use the SBI model: Situation → Behavior → Impact.
- “During the sprint planning last Monday (Situation), I noticed you didn’t raise the concerns about the timeline until after the meeting (Behavior). It meant we had to revisit the plan, which cost us time (Impact). Next time, can you flag that kind of concern during the meeting?”
- “I want to share something I observed — not to criticize, but because I think it will help you grow.”
- “This is something I think we can work on together.”
Phrases to soften without losing honesty:
- “I want to be direct with you because I think you can handle it.”
- “This is coming from a place of wanting to help you level up.”
- “Can I share some feedback? Feel free to push back if I’m missing context.”
Talking About Career Growth
Most 1-on-1s focus only on tasks. Great tech leads also invest in their team’s long-term development.
Key Phrases:
- “Where do you see yourself growing in the next 6 months?”
- “Are there any skills you want to develop that you’re not getting to use right now?”
- “What kind of work energizes you the most?”
- “Are you feeling challenged enough, or does the work feel routine?”
- “Is there a project or responsibility you’d like to take on?”
Example Dialogue:
You: “I want to check in on your career goals. Where do you want to be in a year?”
Team member: “Honestly, I want to move into a senior role, but I’m not sure what I need to do to get there.”
You: “That’s a great goal. Let’s map out what senior means here. I think the biggest area for you to work on is leading technical decisions — not just implementing them. Would you be open to taking ownership of the architecture discussion for the next feature?”
Team member: “Yes, I’d like that.”
You: “Great. I’ll support you through it, but you’ll be in the driver’s seat.”
Closing the Meeting
Always end with clarity. What are the next steps? Who owns what?
Key Phrases:
- “Let’s recap — what are your main focuses for this week?”
- “Is there anything you need from me before our next check-in?”
- “I’ll follow up on [X] — can you take care of [Y]?”
- “Thanks for the honest conversation. I really appreciate it.”
- “Same time next week?”
Common Mistakes Vietnamese Speakers Make
1. Being too indirect with feedback Vietnamese culture values harmony, so we tend to soften feedback until it loses meaning. “Maybe you could consider possibly thinking about…” — the person has no idea they did something wrong. Be kind but clear.
2. Skipping the check-in Jumping straight to tasks signals that you only care about output. Take 2–3 minutes to genuinely ask how the person is doing.
3. Turning 1-on-1s into status updates “What did you finish this week? What are you working on next?” — this is a standup, not a 1-on-1. Focus on the person, not the ticket board.
4. Not documenting action items After the meeting, quickly note what was agreed. Even a short Slack message: “Thanks for the chat! Action items: I’ll follow up with the backend team, you’ll work on X by Friday.” This prevents things from falling through the cracks.
5. Using overly formal language “I would like to inquire as to whether you are experiencing any challenges at this current juncture.” — just say: “What’s been tough for you lately?”
Quick Reference: Starter Phrases for Every 1-on-1
| Moment | Phrase |
|---|---|
| Opening | ”How are you doing this week?” |
| Blockers | ”What’s slowing you down?” |
| Support | ”What can I do to help?” |
| Positive feedback | ”I really appreciated how you…” |
| Constructive feedback | ”I want to share something I noticed…” |
| Career | ”Where do you want to grow?” |
| Closing | ”Let’s recap — what are your main focuses?” |
Running a good 1-on-1 in English does not require perfect grammar. It requires genuine curiosity, clear language, and follow-through. The phrases above give you a starting point — but the most important thing is showing up consistently and actually listening.
Your team will notice.