As a tech lead in an international team, the 1-on-1 meeting is one of your most powerful tools. But if English is not your first language, these conversations can feel awkward — you might rush through them, stick to only status updates, or avoid the difficult topics entirely.
This guide gives you the exact phrases, vocabulary, and practice drills you need to run confident, effective 1-on-1s in English.
Why 1-on-1s Matter More Than You Think
Many Vietnamese tech leads treat 1-on-1s like a quick status check: “Any blockers? Okay, good.” But a real 1-on-1 builds trust, uncovers hidden problems early, and develops your team members as individuals.
The challenge is that meaningful 1-on-1 conversations require soft, open-ended English — the kind that textbooks rarely teach. You need to know how to probe gently, give hard feedback diplomatically, and close with clear ownership.
🗣️ Key Phrases to Say Out Loud
Practice these phrases until they feel natural. Say each one three times out loud before your next 1-on-1.
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“How are things going for you this week?” IPA: /haʊ ɑːr θɪŋz ˈɡoʊɪŋ fər juː ðɪs wiːk/ Open-ended opener — better than “any blockers?”
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“What’s been taking up most of your mental energy lately?” IPA: /wɒts bɪn ˈteɪkɪŋ ʌp moʊst əv jɔːr ˈmɛntl ˈɛnərʤi ˈleɪtli/ Discovers hidden workload or stress without asking directly.
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“I want to share some feedback — is now a good time?” IPA: /aɪ wɒnt tə ʃɛr sʌm ˈfiːdbæk — ɪz naʊ ə ɡʊd taɪm/ Always ask before giving feedback. It signals respect.
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“I noticed that… and I think it had an impact on…” IPA: /aɪ ˈnoʊtɪst ðæt… ænd aɪ θɪŋk ɪt hæd ən ˈɪmpækt ɒn…/ Observation-based feedback — not blame, just facts.
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“What support do you need from me to move this forward?” IPA: /wɒt səˈpɔːrt duː juː niːd frəm miː tə muːv ðɪs ˈfɔːrwərd/ Positions you as a helper, not a controller.
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“Let’s make sure we leave with a clear next step.” IPA: /lɛts meɪk ʃɔːr wiː liːv wɪð ə klɪər nɛkst stɛp/ Signals the close and creates accountability.
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“How confident are you feeling about the deadline?” IPA: /haʊ ˈkɒnfɪdənt ɑːr juː ˈfiːlɪŋ əˈbaʊt ðə ˈdɛdlaɪn/ Better than “will you finish on time?” — less confrontational.
📚 Vocabulary
1. Candid /ˈkændɪd/ — honest and direct, even about difficult things
“I want to be candid with you about the performance concerns I’ve heard.”
2. Actionable /ˈækʃənəbl/ — specific enough to act on immediately
“Good feedback is always actionable, not just a general complaint.”
3. Overwhelmed /ˌoʊvərˈwɛlmd/ — feeling like you have too much to handle
“I could see you were overwhelmed during the sprint — let’s talk about how to prevent that.”
4. Trajectory /trəˈdʒɛktəri/ — the path or direction someone’s career or project is heading
“I want to talk about your career trajectory — where do you see yourself in a year?”
5. Clarify /ˈklærɪfaɪ/ — to make something clearer or easier to understand
“Can you clarify what you meant by ‘the API is unstable’?”
6. Proactive /proʊˈæktɪv/ — taking action before a problem happens, not after
“I’d love to see you be more proactive about raising blockers early.”
7. Bandwidth /ˈbændwɪdθ/ — (informal tech slang) time and mental capacity available
“I know you don’t have much bandwidth right now, so let’s keep this short.”
The 3-Part Structure Every 1-on-1 Needs
Part 1: Open (3–5 minutes)
Start broad. Let them talk first.
“So, how’s your week been? Anything on your mind before we dive in?”
If they give a short answer, probe with:
“Anything feeling harder than it should right now?”
Part 2: Core Topic (10–15 minutes)
Each 1-on-1 should have one real topic — not just status updates. Rotate between:
- Career development: “Where do you want to grow in the next 6 months?”
- Current sprint: “How’s the [feature] going? What’s the riskiest part?”
- Team dynamics: “How’s your relationship with the QA team lately?”
- Feedback: “I wanted to share something I noticed this week…”
Part 3: Close (2–3 minutes)
Always close with a clear action item and owner.
“So before we meet again, you’ll look into the performance issue, and I’ll connect you with the infrastructure team. Does that sound right?”
Then confirm the next meeting:
“Same time in two weeks work for you?”
🎯 Practice Now
Dialogue 1: Giving Constructive Feedback
Read this dialogue out loud. Alternate roles with a colleague or record yourself.
Tech Lead: “Hey, I wanted to share some feedback from this week — is that okay?”
Dev: “Sure, go ahead.”
Tech Lead: “I noticed that during the code review for the payment module, your comments were pretty short — things like ‘fix this’ or ‘wrong approach.’ I think it had an impact on the team because people weren’t sure what exactly to change.”
Dev: “Oh, I see. I was in a rush that day.”
Tech Lead: “Totally understandable. Going forward, could you try to add a one-line explanation with each comment? Something like ‘This might cause a race condition when two requests come in at the same time.’ Does that feel manageable?”
Dev: “Yes, definitely. I’ll do that.”
Tech Lead: “Great. And honestly, your technical instincts are strong — I just want the team to benefit from that thinking too.”
Dialogue 2: Career Conversation
Tech Lead: “I want to shift gears a bit — how are you feeling about your career growth here?”
Dev: “I think it’s going okay, but I’m not totally sure what the next level looks like for me.”
Tech Lead: “That’s fair. What kind of work gets you most excited right now?”
Dev: “Honestly, the system design parts. I enjoyed working on the architecture for the notification service.”
Tech Lead: “I noticed that too — you did a solid job there. Have you thought about leading a small technical initiative? Something like owning the caching strategy for Q3?”
Dev: “I’d be interested, but I’m not sure I’m ready.”
Tech Lead: “I think you’re closer than you think. How about we start with a design doc, and I’ll review it with you before you present it to the team?”
Common Mistakes Vietnamese Tech Leads Make
Too much status, not enough substance. A 1-on-1 is not a standup. If you spend the whole time on sprint progress, you’ve missed the point.
Avoiding hard topics. Many Vietnamese tech leads feel uncomfortable giving direct feedback due to cultural politeness norms. But avoiding it leaves your team member without the information they need to grow. Use the SBI model: Situation → Behavior → Impact.
Asking yes/no questions. “Is everything okay?” will almost always get “Yes.” Ask open questions instead: “What’s been the most frustrating thing this week?”
Not listening enough. A good 1-on-1 should be 60–70% the other person talking. Resist the urge to fill silences immediately.
Quick Tip: The One Question Rule
If you only have time for one question in a 1-on-1, ask this:
“What’s one thing I could do differently that would make your work life better?”
This single question builds psychological safety, uncovers hidden frustrations, and signals that you genuinely care. Most tech leads never ask it — which means asking it once makes you memorable.
Running effective 1-on-1s in English is a skill, and like any skill, it improves with deliberate practice. Start with the phrases in this post, use the dialogues to rehearse, and commit to having at least one real conversation — not just a status update — in your next 1-on-1.
Your team will notice the difference.